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How far is too far ? How long is too long ? Suppose you've hung on to something for sometime now...and you get this feeling that you don't have as high a level of inclination towards that 'thing' as you had sometime back. Do you still hang on to it, thinking that the level will be back up in the future(near or far) or do you give up? How far do you keep hanging onto old baggage ? This is something that has pestered me for too long. This question in itself has stayed in mind for long enuf for me to take a decision as to whether I should pursue further to find the answer to this or give up the search as I wont be able to find an answer to this query...Twisted aint it ? :)

Current Mood: My knee hurts
Current Music: Floyd - Time
Currently Reading: Consumer Behavior
Recent Movies: Orphan

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Well, its All Fools day again. For those who wanna know the reason behind this day being called so, have a look at this :
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/aprilfools1.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools'_Day


Just finished my 3rd term xams yesterday, which officially completes my first year of stay at this place. Its been a year.....Whoosh..... Time just flies. And I'll be flying off to Dubai in a couple of days for my summer intern. I just remembered what I was doing this time last year. Waiting for all the b-skool final results. I'd goto office, open Pagalguy(PG) and browse through every minimally related thread and would do this for the whole day(with lunch and tea breaks in between...oh, and work too).

Once the group-discussion and Personal Interview stage gets over, all that an aspirant can do is wait. And the wait seems endless. So many post posts on pagalguy, where people write inane insanely repetitive, dumb and retarded stuff.
Thread name : IMT Ghaziabad results 2008-10

Dumbfuck1(Trainee pagal) : The wait is killing me.... :S
FireInMyAss (Major paagal) : I can't wait to end this wait.
MrNoSocialLife (Expert paagal): Hey puys, I talked with college authorities yesterday. They said the results would be declared soon. So chill.
nishu84 : Hi, I am nisha. I am new to PG. I got 97.8 %le and have 2 years work-ex in IBM. Will I get a seat ? When will the results be declared ? (without reading any of the previous posts in the thread)

Wandering aimlessly through PG during the months of March and April is called puy'ing I believe. I'd be reading such stuff all day, seeming busy. My manager and team lead were always at loggerheads with me for not doing my work in time. There were a couple of others too, who'd be doing the same thing. When the results get declared, its hysteria, madness. PG has provided so many kinds of smileys that people make use of each one of them in that one post. There's nothing short of fireworks. Ahh....It all seems to have happened so long back now.


Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Egire Egire - KIKK
Currently Reading: Financial Mngmt
Recent Movies: Bridge to Terabithia

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We hear sachin saying that this is pro'ly the best Indian batting line up ever...We also see the numbskull Ravi Shastri equating this side to the great West Indian team of the early 80's(this team goes out and attacks the opposition,having faith in the depth of their line-up....bollocks). Now lets leave Sachin by the side, he may have gotten biased and emotional on this one instance, insuch a long respectable career. What pisses me off the most is when commentators who have never ever played cricket at any level (even gullycricket) or the ones who have hardly played the game, make such sweepingstatements without any credibility watsoever. Have a look at Geoff Boycott or Gavaskar, the comments they give.....then look at these imbeciles run riot just because they've got a frikkin mike in their hands.

I have some simple questions for these nitwits here, who are just out to make this Indian side look like the invincible team that they are not. 

1. Is India the number 1 side now?In tests or one-dayers? (As of 11th march, they are 3rd in both the rankings)

2. For how long did the 'invincible' Australian team dominate this sport? Has the current team come anywhere close to what that team had achieved?A team is the best only when it has been on top for a long time, been dominant and set standards in every aspect of the game.

3. How many sides are going through a re-building phase due to retirements, ICL and the likes? 

4. Who are the major performers now? The players who are performing majorly now(Sehwag, Yuvraj, Sachin, Harbhajan) were a part of the team that went to the finals of the WC in 2003, a team that had Ganguly and Dravid who have both scored 10k+ runs in the ODI format of the game. 

 Yes, this side has had a good, very good run in the past one year. It has also coincided with other sides losing key players to retirement and other reasons. What's more, flatter tracks, better bats, changed rules(power plays)........all favoring a batting style that is nowhere close to elegant.  But all I ask is for us to not jump the gun. Give them time to prove themselves before you put them on a pedestal. Otherwise, you'll have to put your foot in your mouth and hide for cover....which I guess is not aproblem for the un-ashame-able commentators. 

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Project marks

 Priceless 

A life 

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What's left unsaid stays in the mind and haunts us from time to time. And as more and more things are left unsaid, the clutter builds up, increasing the levels of mental unrest.

This gyaan (knowledge) is from a movie called 'Little Manhattan', a really cute little story about a 10-year old New Yorker's first love.

Come to think of it, there is always a lot that's left unsaid. Unless everything goes right, we do tend to not say the intended, as it is bound to sound out of place. Sometimes, the unsaid gets said, under unforeseen circumstances. Lets look at some ways in which the unsaid somehow gets said...at least in the movies.

Alcohol
The reason why alcohol is a major success world-over, is because it helps you to get over your inhibitions and say the unsaid. Most daring of confessions happen after a few large pegs of whiskey have sunk in.

Time
Time kills, Time heals, Time keeps ticking away. Lack of time puts one in a position to reveal or say something that could otherwise have waited for a wee bit longer. Time is a tricky thing, people make promises without taking into account it's unpredictable nature. When the girl is going to be gone for a while, the guy gets very limited time, so he feels that he needs to change to the 'fast-forward' mode to take the relationship in to the next stage.

Family
The most influential social group, these people can at times also be the ones who push you to your limits, and makes you say things which you had always wanted to but never intended to.

Messengers/Letters
What can't be said is sometimes written or typed. Letters are a much safer option, since they are one-sided. Saying the unsaid on the messengers can create quite a weird situation. Suppose the unsaid is said, then there will be some discussion on the topic. One person may be more eager than the other for an answer, building up anxiety and frustration. Typing speeds are never good when complicated issues are handled. So the sender takes his/her own sweet time thinking of the right words while the receiver waits at the other end staring at the 'sender123 is typing...' message on top of the sender's chat window. What messes up the situation further is when one of the two gets disconnected due to a network failure or a power failure, which in our country is almost a daily occurrence.

Ok, enough has been said, but the question still remains: Why do we leave things unsaid ? The right place and the right time always elude the right dialogue. We later ponder over the timing and the content of the dialogue that had to be delivered. We evaluate the merit of not having said a thing - with the consequences if we had said it. Psychologists make a living out of hearing the unsaid. What we can not tell the rest of the world, we tell our shrink. The shrink is a 'you' outside yourself. They will not tell you what is right or wrong, rather, they will help you weigh your options and take better decisions. If the mind is stable enough, one can assume the shrink's role oneself, can't one ?

Current Mood: Audrey, oh pretty Audrey
Current Music: Boys - Girlfriend
Recent Movies: Little Manhattan

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Was heading for the mess hall in clg for lunch. Reached, saw that the subji for the day was 'Tinda'(or the Indian round gourd). A friend behind, looked as disgusted as me. I just turned around to him nd said, "Wtf is this man !" To this he replied "You dont know what this is? This is 'Tinda' my friend, 'gay'ziabad's exotic vegetable 'tinda'. Come on, lets dig in and tingle our taste buds."

Oh how much i laughed :)

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What's the deal with ‘cubicles’ and ‘cute chicks’? Why is it that in a regular office cubicle(generally has 4, sometimes 6 or 8 computers or 'workstations' as they call it here), there's always a crowd around the cute chick's comp !! So many weird things happen if there's a cute chick in the cubicle. The boss visits the cubicle some 20 odd times in a day asking her about the work progress(makes flirtatious remarks/comments at every possible chance), she's the first one to get a cup of tea from the pantry-boy(when he's on his rounds distributing tea in the office), there's always someone ready to give her a ride(even if she doesn’t want one), mails forwarded to the entire team have special mentions to her, her shiny costumes cry for attention and her desk phone rings more number of times than the average blue whale's sperm count. No, this is not just a one off thing that i just have happened to notice at one place, but a consistent truth that has emerged out of a culmination of many observations from different places.

We very well know that right from primary school, guys like to show off and impress gals and gals appreciate these efforts and reciprocate by showering giggles, blushes, sheepish smiles and dialogues like 'how sweet', 'cho chweet', 'so nice of you', 'will you buy me that chocolate?', 'I am happy that you like my nail polish', 'I'm still a virgin'...blah blah blah.

Let me elaborate on the current cubicle scenario that has been pissing me off off-late. There r 6 supposed 'workstations' within the cubicle, two of them occupied by pretty senior people(lets call them senior1 and senior2). Other than them, there is one semi-cute chick who sits to my right and one semi-old lady who sits next to this female. The remaining two positions in the cubicle have been assigned to newbies, me and another guy from Mumbai.

Senior1 is always busy answering mails from morning till evening, the guy doesn’t even take coffee breaks. Senior2 is always on moneycontrol.com praying that the Sensex doesn’t crash any further. He sometimes does take part in the group discussions and throws a joke or two (bad ones though). The semi-old lady doesn’t bother much, just comes, puts on her headphones, logs onto yahoo and minds her own business. We being the newbies, just have to read about techie stuff all day, be it JAVA or COM or VC++ or DICK--. Its the semi-cute chick(lets call her 'Phoolan') who is the cause of all disturbance and distraction in this cubicle.

Be it the 11 am tea-break or the 1 pm lunch break or the 3:45 tea break or the 5:45 end-of-day break, people(read: 24-28 year old jobless deadly-despo guys) begin to huddle around Phoolan's comp, asking her all sorts of silly questions and bugging her. They come ask her about her pet cat; whether she uses a sunscreen lotion or not; why she doesn’t wear that 'star-shaped' bindhi anymore ; why is the moon white in color; if the cock screws the hen, who has sex with the rooster?.....and all sorts of dumb nitwittish questions.

Now, Phoolan, who loves every bit of this attention that she's getting, takes care of these situations very well. She just nods her head and gives a dumb smile in reply to all of these questions, and that somehow does the trick. These numbskull guys dont even listen to the answer as long as there is a smile attached with it. They're content with the fact that they cud make a semi-cute gal smile with their witty (read: shitty) comments.

Senior1 and senior2 do sometimes come to the rescue by interrupting this nonsense. The semi-old lady sits quiet, real jealous of the attention that Phoolan gets all the time, but she doesn’t do much about it. Methinks that she must be having the "What's she got that I aint got!" inferiority complex, and that someday, we may find Phoolan hanging upside down and unconscious, on the cafeteria ceiling.(**evil grin**)

I knew from the day that I joined this job that an IT job was no walk in the park, that it would have its set of difficulties. But never did I imagine a hindrance of this variety. As a last resort, I'm thinking of sending Phoolan an email like this....

"Hi. I am a relatively quiet person who appreciates a bit of peace and calm near his desk. The people who come and crowd around your desk are desperately trying to hit on you(if you dint know this already). You are inadvertently leading them on(if you dint know this already). I'd suggest that you carry with you a bottle of "get away from me you arse" spray(keeps away despos for life) or have two cards(one red and one green), in your pocket. Flash the red card(soccer style) at every imbecile who comes near your desk and whom you dont like. That way, you can reduce the crowd around your (and my) desk. The other thing that you can do is to shift your own desk to the rooftop, so that these idiots can give you company there during each of the breaks during the day."



Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: High hopes - Pink Floyd

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After two months of being in a new job in a new city, I was gonna have my first break. Was on my way to the bus station to board an APSRTC 'Hi-tech' semi-sleeper to goto Hyd(home sweet home). I made a brief halt at a stall outside the bus station to buy some mineral water and snacks for the trip. The moment i turned around to head for my bus, a beggar stood in my way. He had his palms stretched out and gave me the 'I am a poor guy, give me something' look.

In a hurry, I just told him - "Sorry, mere paas dene ke liye kuch nahin hai".("Sorry, I have nothing to give").To which he replied - "Kya saab, khaane ke liye khaana hai, peene ke liye paani hai, aur aap bolthe ho ki kuch nahin hai".("You have food to eat and water to drink, and you go on to tell me that you have nothing"). For a moment, I was stunned, but dint react and headed for the bus stop.

A few friends from another software company(read:Lynch-fosys) who were boarding another bus in the same station came to meet me.

Friend1 (f1) - You've not just put on weight, you've put on volume dude !
Me- Yea, one of the many plus points of being in a software job.
Friend 2 (f2) - Hows your job?
Me- Training just got over. They're screwing us so much and paying us so little.
f1 - Same here da. I am neck deep in debts.
Me- What did you do to get yourself into this mess.
f1 - Well, bought an iPod. A digi-cam for my sis, an MP3 player for my cousin and finally bought a bike for 60K.
f2 - Even I'm thinking of getting a Blackberry and a lappy soon.
Me- Oh my. and you say you're getting paid less.
f1 - Dont tell me that you dont have any such plans.
Me- Well yes. Have to fulfill a big wishlist that's waiting for me at home.
f1 - And you say you have 'very little'.

Even though that friend told the last line in passing, it really did ring a bell. Why did i crib about not getting paid well? Why could'nt i see the comforts that the new job had provided me with, the purchasing power that it gave me(I mean, it is after all,a 5 figure salary, even if its on the lower half of the lower side, it still is reasonable).

I get to Hyd, take an auto from the bus station. The afternoon traffic being on the high side, the auto had to move at a snail's pace for a long time. There was a hug traffic jam at a place, the reason for the jam was the installation of digital meters for all the autos in the city.

Me- Is there only one place in the city where this installation is being done?
Auto driver (AD) - Hau saab. Look at the number of autos that are parked in and around the area. It took me two days to get a meter for my auto.
Me- That's very wrong. But its good in a way that proper digital meters are there in all autos.
AD - Kya saab. how much will an auto fellow cheat a customer with a tampered meter. 'Ek rupiye pe bees paise bhi nahin bantha saab'.
Me- At least you ppl speak of meters here. There in bangalore, its all flat rates. they charge such high rates and they wont take a customer if he's goin for a short distance.
AD - Wahi saab. Auto driving has become very cheap in people's eyes nowadays. Think of it from our perspective once. We never eat on time, we dont get to spend any time with our families, stand in queues all night at the gas filling stations. With the soaring petrol and gas prices, what will we get from the fare that you pay us by the meter. How do you think we should live without getting that little extra. And once I drop you off, you think i'll immediately get a customer. I'll surely have to go another 2-3 kilometers without a customer. How do you think we people should run families with lives like this saab....

These small conversations made me a have new perspective on what all 'I have' and have taken for granted thus far.

Reminds me of a line from a Phil Collins song - "Oh think twice. It's just another day for you and me in paradise."

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Bent -Matchbox Twenty

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cute girl and loafer are good friends. They meet up at a coffee shop one day.

Cute girl - Hey, you’ve put on weight.

loafer - Yea, must be from all the beer I guzzled last night at Lolita’s party. So, how have u been?

Cute girl - (with a glowing smile) I got a job in ‘lynch-fosys’.

loafer - Yeyy, party.

Cute girl - for u, its always a party. Have u ever footed a single bill !

loafer - what to do re. I am jobless na :( And dad has stopped giving me pocket money. Says “you’re 22 now, go earn your own money”.

Cute girl - Alright then. This time, its on me…..anyways, what else is new, mister 22 ?

loafer - Nothing baap. Just loafing around. Hey, let me ask you something. I just got an ugly stare from a girl while I was on my way here.

Cute girl - Did you ogle at her?

loafer - I took just as much as peek at her and then changed direction to look at the traffic signal.

Cute girl - Are you sure you dint give her a prolonged look.

loafer - Alrite. Yes, I did look for more than a second or two. But it was’nt that gulshan grover’s ‘bad man’ look or the prem chopra’s ‘aaja chamiya’ look either. It was an innocent appreciation of nature’s beauty in human form.

Cute girl - Aahh…see there you go.

loafer - What? … are’nt guys allowed take as much as an innocuous look at cute females. She looked really pretty in that black salwar with the make up and the jewels. Had I been in the same situation in a telugu film (me being the hero with my sidekick nearby), I’d have said to him “She’s the one. I am in love”. But its so sad that we’re stuck in reality where the pretty girl gives you a ‘you useless fellow’ stare and walks away.

Cute girl - You deserved it. Why should you even fix a look on a stranger!

loafer - Why? Why cant guys look at girls whom they think are pretty. Why do women then take all the trouble? They sport such immaculate dresses and adorn kilos of make up even when they’ve to goto the supermarket to buy rat-poison.

Cute girl - You see…you’re right in a way. We do dress up and look all pretty so that we are looked at. But we want to be looked at only by those guys whom we want to notice us. We don’t want any and every guy to go around staring at us. Who would want that, tell me.

loafer - Let me get this clear. You want to be looked at, but not by the entire guy-community. You want to be looked at by those select few smart n handsome guys only. It is only their attention that you want to attract.

Cute girl - Exactly. That’s what we want.

loafer - Why how is that possible.

Cute girl - That’s what na. but we manage to get what we want. we use our icy stares and glares to avoid stupid gazes from every ram, karthik and chary.

loafer - My god…..no wonder that no one knows what you ppl want….am far from it….I am gonna start wearing sunglasses from now on, so that I don’t get those icy stares anymore.

Cute girl - Good for you :)

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I am a cheerful and instinctive guy, go by my gut feeling more often than not coz I don’t like to stress the only nerve that’s there in my brain, with too much thinking. Am a bit easy going, happy go lucky and to put it in typical hyd-ie lingo, I ‘take lite’. Boletho, I tend to take things as they come(move on with life) and that I don’t get angry/disappointed/down easily. No, this is’nt an Orkut profile’s ‘about me’ section that I am trying to fill up here. But there surely are two questions which whenever asked make my only nerve swell to twenty four times its normal size! I’ve been troubled by these two questions all thru my life so far, its like they’re two living entities brought into this world to torment me wherever I go. Well, the two questions are

1.What are you doing now ?

2.What are you going to do next/after this ?

Let me see how I answered/should have answered these questions at different stages of my 21 year life thus far.

Primary school

1. What are you doing now son/beta?
This question used to have a ready answer back then. Just tell them that you’re in school and that was all. Generally, no further second line of questioning would ensue, apart from the occasional ‘Did you stand first in class?’ or ‘Are you still scoring a centum in math?’

2.What are you going to do after this?
Well, this seemed a fascinating question back in those days. These were my usual answers
“Am gonna save lots of my pocket money, buy a truck and become a truck driver.”
“Am thinking of robbing Sharma uncle’s Master-card, taking a flight to Sweden and buying the world’s biggest chocolate.”
“Am gonna watch DD-8 all evening everyday, learn about fertilizers and become a farmer.”

I got a lot of attention coz of my innocent yet quirky answers, which I did like to a certain degree.

Secondary school
1. What are you doing now?
Still the same answer. It worked wonders.

2. What are you going to do after this?
The same answers dint seem to work in the same way :( People began to give stares, glares and told me to get serious. Was told to get an ambition, to have a goal, a vision, a Nintendo Game-boy (oops no, but I did think of getting one for myself :) ). Anyways, then began my search for that elusive ambition, that one quirky and intelligent answer which would get me back the attention I used to get. Those were testing times. Any answer I gave, always followed with it, a complicated second line of questions which I never had any clue about. I used to just nod when the very people who used to ask those questions gave the answers and asked me to think a little more. Well, lets be fair, I was still a kid. I loved playing my video games, my gully cricket and watching my cartoons on tv. I loved quizzing but that was all. I dint have any ambition. But I was too apprehensive to tell this to anyone. Always stuck to the same “I wanna be an architect” or “I wanna be an air-host” crap whenever asked.

Before professional college
After school, I was made to choose the science stream, but I had no qualms. Anything was ok with me. Was made to prepare for the barrage of engineering entrance examinations (I dint know why I was doing what I was doing) and finally, I managed to enter the engineering stream.

1. What are you doing now?
“Well, I have just completed my intermediate (+2). I dint get thru to IIT. Wrote another exam for a certain DA-IICT in gandhinagar and will take admission there.”

This used to be followed by so many irritating comments. “Oh! Dhirubhai Ambani institute ehh. You’re future is secure with Reliance now.”...... “That old man has created a fantastic empire!”...... “Will you be able to study in gandhinagar? I mean, its so far away, how will you go?”

Irrespective of the comment, I used to nod my head and give a rising smile which usually made the other person think that I actually applauded/approved of his comment and he/she used to stop pestering me further.

2. What are you going to do next?
By this time, even though I’d realized that it was no longer possible to be a farmer or a truck driver, I also realized that I dint know what I wanted to do next (and that was kinda perplexing at times). So I thought of doing what we as Indians do best – ‘follow the crowd’. Yea, I wanted to be a software engineer now, like every other gult and tam in town. I was gonna top in all my engineering courses, become a deadly programmer and own Microsoft by the age of 30. Somehow, this answer seemed to please many of my admirers.

After professional college
Realization dawns that I aint fit to be an engineer, but somehow have graduated to become a farzi-neer. Somehow managed to get a first class and get out of that hell hole alive.

1. What are you doing now?
“You remember the long breaks one has between major jumps during one’s student life, the after-10th grade holidays, the after-12^th grade holidays? I am having a similar massive 4 month holiday now. Am doing nothing, absolutely nothing and I am loving every minute of it.” Well, this hasn’t gone down very well with many. All they say is “how is it that you are not doing anything? People are flying off to the U.S, joining jobs, opening brothels…but they’re doing something!”
Oh yeah. I’m doing something alrite. I’m taking car-driving lessons. Even though I’ve almost driven the test vehicle into an open drain twice till now, my instructor is dead sure that I will get my license to kill by next Monday. Also, I’ve created an aromatic oil. Some of my coconut oil fell into an open pineapple jam jar accidentally and the rest is history. It’s a got a refreshing smell. You shud try it.

2. What are you going to do next?
Have a job to join in a month now. And yea, I am still following the crowd. No. I am not rushing off to the U.S coz its become more like India than India itself. Am being made to write all these management institute entrance exams coz my well-wishers think I am brainy. My current answer to this question is “I am thinking of doing an MBA from a top b-skool” - which again seems to go well with the people.


But actually, I still don’t know what to do. I don’t have an ambition. Is it a curse? I’ve done reasonably well so far without one. Is it a blessing in disguise?

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Well, I have this habit of switching languages during a conversation. One sentence will be in English, the other in hindi, the next in telugu and the very next in the hyderabadi ‘kaiku’ slang lang. I can’t help it, it’s become a habit. I’ve grown up in an extremely cosmopolitan surrounding and this lang-switch is one of the prominent observed side-effects. A college friend of mine (a purist in many ways), once heard me have a multi-lango conversation with my brother on the phone and was astonished to say the least. “You never stuck to one single language. You kept changing it every sentence. Your bro must be having a tough time understanding whatever u had to say. Wait till I tell this to everyone in the group, they’ll pull your leg till you leave college” (which they apparently did, but its only now when I’ve left college that I realize how much I miss the fun of all those leg-pulling sessions).

Anyways, I’ve come to observe another very prevalent speaking pattern amongst different age groups, which is much more harmful and harder to understand when compared to my multi-lango syndrome. It’s the use of ‘Minglish’. Well, this is a term I’ve coined, and its gonna take some time defining it completely. But here’s a short description of what Minglish is. You see, there are some ppl who involuntarily think in regional languages(mostly their mother tongues) and translate their thought out in English while speaking. Now the problem is that not many of them take the trouble to semantically transform the thought into English before giving it out, they just take the thought in the regional language, replace each word with the closest possible match in English and then blurt it out. The result is a hotch-potch lingo which gets very hard to digest for any purist or a lover of the language. Some use it because they feel speaking in English enhances their position in a group (I call them bloody dumb fuck wannabes). There are others who are forced to speak English as a part of protocol( in offices, schools etc – my sympathies with them). And there are these others who just speak English for the heck of it. People of all ages are using Minglish inadvertently. I hear it wherever I go. It’s hilarious most of times.

Let me give you a few examples of Minglish and how prevalent it is (in hyd atleast).

Was on my way to a temple in a bus when I observed two college going guys talking to each other.
First guy : hey, when does the matinee show in Tivoli theater start ?
Second guy : Now only rey !! We’ll have to go quickly. ( the thought : In hindi – ‘abb heeech shuru hora rey’)

Was in a restaurant, was waiting for my order to be served. It had already been a half an hour and I was getting impatient. I called the waiter and said -
Me : Excuse me. Have you forgotten my order.
Waiter : No saaaaab. For such a biiiig order, it takes some time no. If you cant wait for that much time also, then what I can do, tell me! ( the thought : In hindi – “nahin sahib. Bade order ke liye thoda waqt lagtha naa. Uthna bhi sabar nahin kar sakthe aap toh main kya kar saktha hoon aap hi boliye !” )

A 22+ female who has just reached the US writes this scrap to her brother who is back here in India. – “Hey bro, take my number. It is 0091-xxxx…. And I tried so much to call your phone. You dint pick up only!!!”. ( the thought : In hindi – “ktina try kiya, tumne uthaaya hi nahin !” )

Was dropping my cousin sister off to school (she’s a fourth grader) when we had this small conversation.
Me : Hey, look at that girl there. You should have long hair like her.
Sis : Whyyyyie ?? My hair is not big aaaa ? (the word she thought in her thought : telugu word – ‘kadha’ or the tamil word – ‘illaya’ )

The movie ‘The Angrez’ has this character called lakshmi who talks pure Minglish. Here’s one of her dialogues.
Lakshmi - “Arey smitha, don’t go even near those NRI boys. When I went to their room no, they were doing something something!” ( the thought : In telugu – “arey smitha, aa NRI poragalla deggara kuda vellaku. Valla room ki vellanu kadha, appudu vallu yememoo chestunnaru !” or as we popularly say in hyd – “woh logaan kya kya ki kar rahe the udhar !!” )

Me and my frens from college use the ‘–off ’ language a lot.
Come off rey ! (the thought : In hindi – “aaja rey” ) - the word ‘off’ is used just to fill the blank space in the thought.
Lets smoke some fags off rey!
Is that switch on? Off it off rey!

I call my bro up to tell him to tell mom that I’d be watching a movie and eating outside in the night. He responds in this way - “Arey kaka. Don’t do langa works like this. Come home straight !!”. ( the thought : In telugu – “arey kaka, ilaanti langa panulu emi cheyyaku. seedha intiki raa” )

A school teacher, while checking homework books said this. “hey boy. Quickly, open your this one and show me your that one !!!”. (the intention – “open your bag and show me your homework book” :D )

A telugu movie called “Aaha” has this sequence where Chandramohan talks to a deaf old chap during a death ceremony.

Old guy : do you know how she died ?
ChMhn : ya, she died of heart attack it seems. ( the thought : In telugu – “heart attack vachhi poyindhi anta” )
Old guy (hasnt heard the previous sentence) : There must be some reason for such a sudden death. Do you know the reason ?
ChMhn : ‘That reason only’ i am trying to tell you sir!!! ( the thought : In telugu – “adhe reason cheppadaaniki prayathnam chestunna sir” )

A new dictionary needs to come out with well defined meanings for the “now only”s,“that only”s, “come off”s,“this one”s and “that one”s.

I myself might have used some Minglish while writing this post, if I have, please do forgive me. I do tend to get a bit involved while writing. After all, even writing is a translation of thought into form, and it isn’t always that we think in English, do we ;)


Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: Dirty deeds - AC DC

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On a moonlit night, Chris was walking through the dense shrubbery within the confines of his college campus. He dint know why he was walking, where he was walking, for how long he had walked. He dint want the day to end, it had been so smooth and good all through. He had just finished eating a delicious sizzler at brajwashi’s. He had seen ‘Before sunrise’ and ‘Before sunset’ back to back, and it had felt real good. He had found his precious ‘Real Madrid’ football jersey (he thought he’d lost it) while cleaning his room. His Btech project mentor was happy with the progress he had made. His mom had called up in the morning to tell him that they had planned a trip to Goa in another three weeks time, as soon as he got back home. She had also told him that another 5 K had been deposited in his Syndicate account. Now that his college days were coming to an end (just left with 2 weeks that’s all), he was all thrilled about the various ways in which he could spend so much money in such little time. He had 14 days. The already existing 2K plus another 5K in the bank. He was beside himself with joy. Shoes, liquor, hard disk, novels…..blah, the list was endless. He could do whatever he wanted. Finally, he was going to become an engineer. After 4 years of college, it was all going to get over just in a flash. Life at DA-IICT was fun. He began to think of all the golden moments, a few embarrassing ones did come to mind instantly.

As he wandered through the bushes, he wondered how he’d miss college so much. Lost in thought, he said aloud “I wish these days in college would never end”. Unaware of the water pipe in front, he tripped on it and fell to the ground with a big thud. He got up only to find that he’d lost a tooth. As he got up and regained his composure, a very very pretty girl was standing in front of him. She had wings on her back, had a wand in her hand a velvety conical hat to top it all off. It seemed as though she’d just returned from a fancy dress competition or a fashion parade. Chris was smitten by her beauty but there was this one part of him that wanted to laugh the hell out. There was one other part that was still writhing in pain, he’d lost a canine tooth and chipped another pre-molar.

Chris – hi. Who are you ?
Very very pretty girl – I am a fairy.
Chris (rubs his eyes, pinches his thighs, screws his ears) – what ???
Fairy – Yes. I’m a fairy. Why, is it so hard to believe ? doesn’t my attire give it out ?
Chris(still writhing in pain and astounded) – cool. But what makes you appear in front of me at this godforsaken hour?
Fairy (smiles) – I am not just any ordinary fairy. I’m the ‘tooth fairy’ :) . ‘Holy Godmother’ has given me the job of collecting teeth from the Gandhinagar area for this week. You lost an important tooth and I happened to be flying nearby.
Chris – I’m sorry, but I cant help you find it. It’s too dark here.
Tooth Fairy – Don’t worry, I already have it in my pocket.
Chris - But is that it! You came here coz of the tooth ? What a lame job for such a pretty girl.
Tooth Fairy – Yeah! But there’s something in it for you. Now that you’ve lost a tooth, I’m gonna grant one wish of yours.
Chris – wait wait. lemme think. I don’t want to waste it. can I have some time to think.
Tooth Fairy – No no. you’ve already asked for a wish.
Chris – When did I wish for anything ?
Tooth Fairy – You made a wish just before you tripped and broke your tooth.
Chris(thinks for a few seconds) – aaaah! Yes, I did dint I !!! I really wish these days would never end. It may seem a tough wish to fulfill, but you’re a tooth fairy, you can manage it right !

Tooth Fairy (***devilish smile***) – Certainly… You wish these days not to end. They never will.

All of a sudden, the pretty girl turned into a two winged, four legged, five ass-ed monster and started to laugh at Chris. It said “you’re dead meat punk ! This wish is gonna hurt you real bad”. Saying this it flew away and disappeared in a jiffy. Chris was just plain dumbstruck. He got back to the hostel, dint think much about what had happened and just went to sleep.

He woke up the next morning with a slight headache, the chipped tooth still ached. With the brush in hand, he left his room in search of the elusive toothpaste tube (sometimes its tough to even find a single paste filled tube in one whole hostel wing). Just then, his btech project partner Mandy came running down the corridor all panting.

Chris – what’s the matter ? why are u so perplexed ?
Mandy – Idiot ! today was the last day to submit the project report. I couldn’t wake you up so went to our mentor all by myself.
Chris – My presence wouldn’t have mattered much. Anyway, you did submit the report right ?
Mandy – Uhhhh..not exactly. Our mentor dint accept it. All of a sudden , he’s turned into a psycho kinda guy. Don’t know what’s happened to him over-night ! He's started telling that the work we’ve done is hardly enough. Says that we have to stay here for the entire summer, that means another 3 months !!!
Chris – wtf???? Let me go talk to him once.
Mandy – I am not going there again. Have had enough for one day.

Chris marched to his professor’s office, with a whole lot of questions in mind. He entered the room, to see that the prof was watching some photo album.

Chris – Good morning err..afternoon sir. Is that your family album ?
Professor – Yes.
Chris – Sir, about the project…..
Professor – I’ve already talked about it with Mandy. I wont entertain any more questions.
You’re staying here for the summer. That’s final !!!!

Saying this, he slammed the album in his hand onto the table which was between the both of them. Chris managed to have a good look at one of the pictures. He had seen the female in the photo sometime before, but wasn’t able to recollect. Since he could ask no questions about the project, he went ahead and asked

Chris - Sir, whose the girl in this photo?
Professor (gives him a stare) – That’s my daughter. She’s studying abroad.

They talked for a while, but Chris wasn’t able to get out of doing an extra 3 months in college. He stormed out of the prof’s office. He was angry. Suddenly he dint start to like his college that much. The professors and their massive California-sized ego’s, the military like discipline system, the sheer autocracy of the profs with no authority above to dictate to them, the stupid water pipe which chipped his tooth. , all of them started to get to him. He wished his stint at college would end soon and he’d get out of this place. Then he sat back and thought, why did all this happen?

In a flash, he remembered. That girl whom he’d seen in the photo album was none other than the Tooth Fairy. HOLY FCUK !!! It all came back to him. The wish that he had made. The devilish grin of the fairy and then her turning into a monster. It ran in their family. He could see the same smile all the mouths in that pic.He clenched his fist, and hit his own right thigh real hard saying “I knew it !!! I've been tricked. Why at all did I make such a wish ??”. Only after he had hit his thigh did he realize that he’d broken the ATM card that was in the right pocket. Now he’d have to goto Sector-16 each time he’d have to withdraw money. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He screamed in agony “ When will these days end ??? I wanna get out of here.” Then came a sound from the background “NEVER NEVER NEVER !!! hahahahahaaaaa”.

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Atif - Kuch Is Tarah

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